21 March 2011

Stuck in Limbo and Pissed Off

Almost two weeks since my miscarriage and D&C, still no sign of the witch (AF). I finally stopped bleeding though, which is nice, but now I'm just waiting for more bleeding.

It's been a rough year so far. Last December, BIL's girlfriend started avoiding my calls and I was actually concerned that something was wrong. DH checked FB on Christmas Eve and found out why. She was pregnant. I spent Christmas crying and screaming at DH and the dogs. It should be punishable by law to announce that on Facebook, especially when the urine is still drying on the fucking stick. About two months prior to this, she told me that she ran out of BCP and they were using the pull out method for now. Now they're pretending that this was planned and not an accident. BIL actually had the nerve to tell FIL that they've been trying for a really long time. Granted, nobody believes that bullshit but it's a slap in the face to us and I'm personally insulted by a lie like that because we have been trying for a long time. Longer than they've even known each other. And then there's the fact that neither of them is fit to be a parent and that child will very likely be neglected.

It gets worse though. I fell pregnant in January and would have been due only a month after that skank. We never told anyone because of the fear of another loss and were planning to announce after I had an 11 week ultrasound and saw the Maternal-Fetal Specialist. But it didn't work out that way because I found out at the ultrasound that my baby had died several weeks prior. So now my baby is gone and I'll be reminded every year, when their child has a birthday, of what I should have...but don't. I really thought this year was going to be better but it's not looking good.

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